Calvin and Hobbes: The Fellowship of the Ring
by Ironic Eraser
Summary: Calvin is forced to read an overly long book entitled: The Lord of the Rings. One night after having a peculiar dream he grabs his book and finally decides to read it. But once he opens the book, he is sucked into the world of Middle Earth and accompani


**Calvin and Hobbes **

**The Fellowship of the Ring**

**Of The Ruling Rings and the Disturbance of Middle Earth**

_It began with the forging of the Ruling Rings. Three, were given to the Elves, fairest and wisest of all. Seven were given to the Dwarf Lords who were excellent craftsmen in their halls of stone. And nine, nine rings were given to the race of Men who above all else, desired power. But they were all of them deceived, for another Ring was made. In the Land of Mordor where the shadows lie, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret Ring, a Master Ring, One Ring to rule them All._

And then with a start Calvin awoke from his sleep. _The Lord of the Rings,_ he thought. He took out a heavy tome and settled it on his lap. Hobbes, the furry stuffed tiger, sat up rubbing his eyes with cuddly paws.

"What's up Calvin?" he started.

"Why are you awake in such an early hour? It's not like you."

Calvin stared intently at the book. The cover was engraved with gold letters that said: The Lord of the Rings. He opened it ignoring Hobbes and read the first few lines:

_CHAPTER 1_

_THE LONG EXPECTED PARTY_

Suddenly Calvin gasped with horror as the book suddenly started sucking him in and Hobbes with him. He screamed trying desperately grabbing his sheets to pull him out but it was no use. With only his big eyes wide with shock left of him he looked around for the last time in his life marveling the emptiness of his room that will befall on the days of nothingness. Then he fell into a black nothingness as he foresaw.

"Hobbes, old buddy?" Calvin said to his furry companion.

"I hate to put some gayness into this but I love you man."

Hobbes looked at him awkwardly and responded, "Uh, me too."

A few minutes later they fell on a bench which then knocked over. A boy shorter than him fell off the bench and threw a ring in the air. Everybody who was in the room stopped to look. The boy gave a gasp as the ring slipped onto his finger and he disappeared. Everybody looked in shock as to where the boy had went. Calvin looked around the vast room and figured that it was a bar.

"What did you do that for?" another boy asked.

Calvin turned around and said, "Who the heck are you to ask me that sort of question!"

Hobbes shoved Calvin away and apologized.

"I'm sorry about this but my buddy Calvin can't go two minutes without any cookies."

The boy stared at him awkwardly. Calvin barged back in and jumped on him beating the living daylights out of the boy.

"Merry! Merry!" the boy cried. "Help me! The dwarf is attacking me!"

"DWARF?" Calvin exclaimed. "I RESENT THAT REMARK!"

And like that he continued punching him. "WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU TO CALL ME A DWARF! AND WHAT ARE YOU? A MIDGET?"

The other by called Merry pulled Calvin off of the boy and said, "For your information dwarf, (Calvin started squirming) we are respectable hobbits of Hobbiton."

"Hobbits?" Hobbes asked.

"Yes," Merry replied.

Calvin started screaming out nonsense like, "I'LL SUE! CALL ME A DWARF WILL YOU! AAAARRRRGGHHH!"

"Relax Calvin!" Hobbes said reassuringly, "There is no need for suing hobbits!"

The boy who was badly bruised came back up and said, "I'm not going to waste anymore time! Frodo's up in that room with that Longshanks fellow! Let's go to his rescue!"

"But that's impossible! Nobody can save Frodo from that Longshanks fellow!"

Calvin suddenly developed a quirky grin. "Impossible?" he said disbelievingly.

"NOTHING'S IMPOSSIBLE! NOT FOR…" and he paused for the sake of drama, "STUPENDOUS MAN!"

And with that he leapt to the nearest closet and was transformed into a superhero.

"Oh brother," Hobbes said sarcastically rolling his eyes.

Calvin, or Stupendous Man, leapt out of the closet standing bold and valiant. A ray of light surrounded his body as it gave the effect of true heroism.

"NOW LET'S SAVE THAT FREDA GIRL!"

"FRODO!" Merry corrected.

"Whatever," Calvin said.

And with that he bounced up the stairs and down the hallway. Merry, Hobbes, and (Pippin's his name) followed him. Calvin meanwhile kicked a door open and cried at the top of his lungs, "DROP THAT MIDGET DOWN ON HIS REGULAR POSITION!" but it was not where Frodo was. Instead it was a Black Hooded Man wielding a sword.

"_The Ring is ours,_" he said menacingly.

"The Ring's not yours!" Calvin retaliated.

"IT'S STUPENDOUS MAN'S!"

"_Sauron has lost his patience with you,_" the Black Hooded Man slithered.

"No one looses patience with STUPENDOUS MAN!" Calvin cried.

"_Shut up you!_"

"No one tells STUPENDOUS MAN TO SHUT UP! VILE FIEND! DIE!"

And like that Calvin leapt on the Black Hooded Man and started whacking his head. The Hooded Man screamed in brutal agony as he started to shrivel into nothing. "Avast you vile fiend!" Calvin screamed.

As Calvin was still beating up a black piece of clothing, Hobbes, Merry, and Pippin advanced to the real door which Frodo. Just then another hobbit accompanied them. It was Sam. "Mr. Frodo's in that room!" Sam said.

Hobbes rolled his eyes and said, "You have a talent for stating the obvious."

And with that being said, they knocked down the door. Sam getting in his fighting position cried, "Leave him or we'll have you Longshanks!"

Calvin had caught up with them and bounced into the room.

"Leave him! Or we'll have you Longshanks!"

Sam looked at him and turned back to the massive Man.

Calvin, losing his patience jumped on the so-called Longshanks and started attempts on biting him. "Get off me Dwarf!" the man yelled.

"DWARF? DWARF? YOU'LL GET IT FOR CALLING ME A DWARF! RRRRGGGHHH!"

But before Calvin could put any damage on the man, Hobbes pulled him off. Calvin still furiously kicking the air was strapped onto a chair till he finally cooled off and wend to sleep.

"You may call me Strider," the man said.

"What do you want with us Strider?" Hobbes asked.

"Only that you accept my presence and you bring me along in your journey," Strider replied.

"You seem trustworthy," Frodo added. "Okay, you may come with us, Strider."

"One more thing," Strider said.

"And what is that?" Frodo asked suspiciously.

"That you never put the Ring on again."

And so they journeyed until nightfall as they approached their camping spot: Weathertop. Calvin finally awoke from a dreamless slumber along with Frodo and Hobbes. Strider had gone to explore the location. While he was gone, Sam, Merry, and Pippin were having a delicious dinner with a visible camp fire.

Frodo eyes widened with shock as he shouted at them, "What are you doing! Put that fire out before someone sees!" He quickly grabbed a pail of water and splashed it at the flames. Suddenly a horrific scream filled the air and up came eight Black Riders.

"The Wraiths!" Pippin cried.

Pippin grabbed a small dagger from the supplies and flashed it at the Ring Wraiths. Everybody else followed along with Hobbes. Calvin on the other hand transformed into the intrepid Spaceman Spiff. _There came in the eight most ugliest girls I have ever seen! I set my blaster to medium fry. _

"THEY SEEK THE RING!" Merry cried.

"And I seek my spaceship!" Spiff cried.

Hobbes remembering the story of the Lord of the Rings while Calvin was at school realized something.

"What happened to the ninth?" Hobbes asked.

"_He was killed by that DWARF!_" one of the eight cried.

_He pointed at our heroic hero, Spiff. He knew it was a signal to attack! Spiff springs into action!_

The eight Ring Wraiths grabbed their swords and advanced towards the hobbits, the tiger, and our hero Spiff. Suddenly Strider descended from the heavens and started combating them.

"Help!" Frodo called helplessly. "They're everywhere!"

Finally in his own instinct he put on the Ring.

"_We shall find you!_" one of the eight said.

Merry and Pippin were knocked out. Sam was in a quarrel with two Ring Wraiths. And our beloved Hobbes killed two of the eight. It reduced to only six Ring Wraiths. Finally sensing Frodo in their presence one of the six walked malevolently towards dear Frodo and stabbed him in the shoulder. A cry rung in the misty air as Strider finally drove them away.

"Strider!" Sam called. He stood Frodo rubbing his shoulder.

Frodo stood somewhat crying of the pain that was beset on him. The Ring was taken off.

"Of course, without me, SPACEMAN SPIFF, you would have never stood a chance between the ugly Wraiths." Calvin bragged.

"What are you talking about?" Hobbes said. "You were cowering in bush this whole time!"

"Are you calling me a liar?" Calvin asked glaring at Hobbes.

"Why of course! It's true!"

"Why you dumb NOODLELOAF!" Calvin shouted as he jumped on the tiger which started a fight. A cloud formed as insults filled the night.

"NOODLELOAF? Why how dare you-you-HASHBROWN!"

"HASHBROWN! I'M NOT EVEN CRISPY ON THE OUTSIDE!"

They continued to fight until they finally stopped and they both fell with Merry and Pippin unconscious. A horse came aloft onto Weathertop.

"Come!" Strider said. "Onto my horse!"

They rode out of Weathertop with Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Calvin, and Hobbes on the back of the horse. Finally they stopped in a forest where Strider went to pick herbs to stall Frodo's condition. As Strider picked on an herb bush a blade was suddenly pointed at his neck.

Strider looked at the blade with sweat crossing his face.

"What's this? A ranger in the forest?" a voice came from the blade holder.

_Prologue_

"_I CAN'T BELIEVE MY MOM WANTS ME TO READ THIS BOOK!"_

_Calvin held up a heavy tome and showed it to his friend Hobbes. _

"_IT'S OVER A THOUSAND PAGES! EVEN MY GRANDPA CAN'T READ THAT MUCH!" Calvin complained. _

"_Well why don't you just get it over with and read it?" Hobbes suggested._

_Calvin glared at his faithful companion. _

"_Why don't you read it?" Calvin yelled at him._

"_I already did." Hobbes said._

"_RRRRGGGHHH! YOU SMART ALECK!" Calvin shouted as he jumped Hobbes and they began another quarrel like the dozens of times that they do it._

_Well I hope you enjoyed this and please review! _


End file.
